Many a times, interpersonal conflicts arise as we fail to see the other party’s point of view and understand what he or she is going through. However, as the saying goes, it takes two hands to clap. If the other party is not open and honest about certain misgivings he or she has, it would also be difficult for us to try to understand the other party’s point of view or what he or she is going through. Isn’t this a very fine example of the importance of effective communication?
Below is something which might very well happen in a work environment:
Karen just got a job in a renowned investment bank. Soon after, she realizes that she is consistently running into problems and meeting glitches with long hours at work every day. She has been approaching her supervisor quite often for help in the problems at work. However, her supervisor always seems snappy and always gives vague answers to the questions she asks and has made some unpleasant remarks such as, “Haven’t you wrote this down in your note book? Go refer to your book then!”. As a result, she would procrastinate before asking in order not to make her supervisor think she’s wasting her supervisor’s time. Things never seemed to improve although she was really putting effort to learn and do well in her job scope. One day, she really couldn’t figure out what went wrong and decided to ask her supervisor for help. Her supervisor snapped back almost immediately, “Don’t you understand English? You mean students from NUS are of this calibre?” Karen felt this was beginning to become a little too personal and start to wonder how she should go about solving this issue.
David works in a renowned investment bank and he has a group of people under his supervision. The company has just hired someone new. He found out that she graduated from NUS and always never thought well of graduates of NUS. After a week, he realizes that this new team member still doesn’t seem to be able to catch the ropes. She goes to him every other day with problems he thinks she should have learnt by now. He tries not to spoon feed her by asking her to refer to the notes she has taken down all these while. This went on for quite some time and his tolerance level is decreasing by the day. One day, she went to him again; he couldn’t take it anymore and snapped at her, saying, “Don’t you understand English? You mean students from NUS are of this calibre?”
Standing in Karen’s shoes, what would you consider doing to resolve the conflict? What might be some of the reasons for your proposed solutions?
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5 comments:
Hey You Fei, the supervisor really does not sound like a nice person or even a motivating superior for that matter. On top of that, it seems that he has a prejudiced view against NUS graduates and he discriminates against them. David also does not understand that it can be difficult for a new employee to adapt to the working style of the company and Karen may take some time to fit in.
Therefore, if I were in Karen's position, I would just reply," I'm sorry, I'll do better next time."
In the future, I would not ask the supervisor any questions that I feel may be trivial to him and seek the help of my other colleagues instead. I would try my best to learn from them and get familiar with the working style, so that I can prove to my supervisor that I am more than capable to handle this job.
This is one way that I would try to resolve this issue because I feel that the supervisor would be more influenced by my actions(competency at my job in this case) than any form of verbal communication. At the same time, Karen would have to make it a point to not hold any personal grudge against her supervisor as it would not help anyone. Once again, this would be easier said than done, but having a pragmatic point of view could help her not to hold anything against David and they would both benefit from it.
Hi You Fei, i could really visualize very well this situation that you have brought up. I think it would be one of the problems that we might face when we graduate and head into the working environment. If i am in Karen's shoes, i would first consider whether my competency in this job is up to standard or am i falling behind other colleagues. Perhaps this job is really not suitable for Karen.
If not, I would voice my concerns to the supervisor like i'm uncomfortable with the things that he has said and suggest that maybe he should assign a mentor or upper-study that Karen can ask whenever she runs into problems. That would be good for the both of them.
However, it would be good to note that prejudice is hard to remove unless Karen is willing to put in more effort and prove herself.
Cheers,
Chong Guan
Hey You Fei, if I were in Karen's shoes, I would first ask myself whether the fault really lies with myself. Did I really make an effort to research and find out how to solve the problem by myself before asking the supervisor or was I already taught how to do it but I just forgot. I always believe in independent learning and that I should always try to solve problems by myself before approaching others for help. Hence, if I am really sure that I have done all I can in order to solve to problem but to no avail, then I would let David know that I have done whatever I could but still could not find out what went wrong. Another way is to approach colleagues and friends first to ask for help.
Since I know that David has a prejudice against me, I would work even harder to try to change whatever bad impression he has of me. If things still do not change for the better, I would approach David directly to try to sort things out peacefully. Always show him that you respect him as your supervisor and not sound rude. Tell him that you have been trying very hard to get the hang of things and that you will do whatever you can to meet his expectations as long as he provides the necessary guidance.
Most importantly, as Matthew has mentioned, try not to hold a grudge against David no matter how indignant you feel and let your work performance speak for itself.
Hello You Fei!
I would choose not to discuss about his comment about NUS students as that’s something he feels personally and bringing it up to him wouldn’t help at all. Actions speak louder than words. The only thing I can do is to prove him wrong and hope it would positively influence his perception of NUS students.
However in future, I will first approach my formal communication network like my colleagues within the same department, for guidance and help whenever I face difficulties. This way, it would show that I have exhausted all possible channels of help before approaching him. When seeking his help, I would first propose a possible solution to the problem, even if it’s not complete, and ask him how I can improve. This way, he would see the effort I’ve put in and wouldn’t think he is spoon feeding me with answers. If he is still reluctant to help, I would ask him nicely what he suggests I do in future.
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